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This is a strange thing, that really only within the last year or so has started to happen. Whenever I get down, I always want to leave this city. Maybe this is normal for some people, but to me, it hadn’t been. Rochester is where I grew up. When I reflect on why I am still here… I can think of a few reasons. I only applied to RIT, I didn’t really care for any other college. At the time I was dating Megan, and I didn’t want to go far away from her (for several reasons, not all of them for the right reasons). So, I stuck around.

Years after, I never had to really pursue a co-op, so I never had to leave town. After I graduated, I got a job at StormFrog, so I stuck around some more. Now I am back for grad school, at RIT. So, here I am, down, and wanting to escape. To leave this town, if only for a little while. I’ve tried it before though, and it really doesn’t help. I get back and I want to leave again, and again.

But I can never bring myself to leave.

Today I was extremely close to packing up some clothes, and just hitting the road. Heading a direction and not caring where I ended up. I didn’t do it. I rarely seem to do it when I would have to go alone. I would have done it this time if I could have found someone to go with me… but nobody had enough free time to do it. So I am here, thinking about what if I did leave, and still wishing I did.

Decisions are funny things. Generally speaking, one can make a decision easily. Take a quick estimate of positive and negative consequences of deciding one thing or another, then make the choice… sounds simple.

Sometimes decisions are harder. What makes them harder? Do they take longer to evaluate all the consequences? Are the consequences more severe? Sometimes the choices themselves aren’t going to provide for good consequences, so it becomes the lesser of two evils. Sometimes a decision may seem easy, but it is not fully thought out, and may have unforeseen consequences.

I guess my point is that decisions are a major part of living… for good and for bad.

Lately I have seen many decisions made around me, not all to my liking. Nothing I can do, but I try to be supportive of my friends when I can. I have made decision or two as well, in fact, some are such that I feel great pain in my heart because of.

What does this all mean? I am not sure. In fact, I don’t know why I wrote this… since I really didn’t say anything of any use.

So, it’s Thanksgiving, and I have been pondering what to write about. I was going to write about the nice dinner that I had with my family (and extended friends of family), but I decided that it wouldn’t really be that interesting. So, I was going to draw a comic (I haven’t had much time to play with my Wacom), but I still can’t draw, and I don’t really even have a good idea.

Well, even though I have sent and received 57 text messages today (as of right now at least), someone just text messaged me with something to write about. I was just talking about how it is kind of a bummer being single for holidays, and I was being cute about how i missed having someone to cuddle up with for them.

You are the biggest dork ever Dave haha seriously I don’t know why you haven’t found a girl yet haha

Well. This text really did make me smile. It was sent from a good friend of mine, and last year around this time I kinda had a crush on her - and we spent most of Christmas text messaging each other back and forth (lets just say, that is the reason I have a very high text limit plan now, heh). It never really panned out to us having a relationship or anything, but that is fine since we are pretty good friends now. She does seem to put a smile on my face sometimes with a good message.

It’s messages like those that give me hope that I won’t be single forever. I find it very difficult for myself to be single. I grew up in relationships, and I like being in them. Having been so close to becoming engaged, it is a strange feeling when you don’t have someone to spend your holidays with outside of your family. After a year and a half of being single for holidays, I don’t get as sad about it anymore, but I still miss it. Here’s to hoping my ‘biggest dork’-iness pays off in the end :).

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

After this weekend, I think it is about time that I start to write again. I just purchased a Wacom tablet, spent all weekend developing TAP (more to come on that!), and have a renewed sense of energy since my first quarter of grad school just ended.

That being said. I hope to write a little bit whenever I can. Maybe I’ll draw a little bit too (although, my first ‘cartoon’ was very much an XKCD style, and I am not good at it). We’ll see!