Comments on: Death of the Nice Girl http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/ Code Monkey and Grad Student Extraordinaire Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:51:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: folkeness11 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-21 folkeness11 Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:05:36 +0000 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-21 your blog is a lot more interesting than i would have thought. I agree with what you were saying. My ex recently broke up with me because he got a bunch of money from internet marketing and is dropping out of money to make more money than i can only dream of making. When you value your career more than your relationships i think it tends to lean more towards random hook-ups because its more feasible. Basically he left me and now is hanging out with club rats because hes got the money now and wants to move to cali and live the rich life. its the american dream. thats why im proud to be canadian. I haven't changed but I kept hearing "if you could only change this about yourself then we could be together". girls are scared of getting hurt and maybe some of them feel that if they detach themselves from sex then its less likely they will get hurt in the end, divorced or whatever else your blog is a lot more interesting than i would have thought. I agree with what you were saying. My ex recently broke up with me because he got a bunch of money from internet marketing and is dropping out of money to make more money than i can only dream of making. When you value your career more than your relationships i think it tends to lean more towards random hook-ups because its more feasible. Basically he left me and now is hanging out with club rats because hes got the money now and wants to move to cali and live the rich life.
its the american dream. thats why im proud to be canadian.
I haven’t changed but I kept hearing “if you could only change this about yourself then we could be together”.
girls are scared of getting hurt and maybe some of them feel that if they detach themselves from sex then its less likely they will get hurt in the end, divorced or whatever else

]]> By: Chris http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-16 Chris Sat, 05 Jan 2008 06:42:57 +0000 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-16 In my circle of friends (which is quite different I suspect then the rest of Dave's friends) the issues that Dave bring up rarely happen. Most of my friends have few if any sexual partners before Marriage and also tend to stay married. What does this mean? I suspect that what Dave is noticing is more a reflection of the type of people he hangs out with rather then a 'change in society.' As Tabitha points out people have been having casual sexual relations for as long as there has been humans, that part of humanity hasn't changed. At the same time there is still a part of society for whatever reason that does continue to follow what Dave labeled 'nice' guys and girls, they aren't necessarily disappearing, simply they are hanging out in different circles. I say none of this to put down anyone's sexual preferences merely to ask the reader to look at their own lives and see if what they have noticed 'changed' is really 'society' or themselves? In my circle of friends (which is quite different I suspect then the rest of Dave’s friends) the issues that Dave bring up rarely happen. Most of my friends have few if any sexual partners before Marriage and also tend to stay married. What does this mean? I suspect that what Dave is noticing is more a reflection of the type of people he hangs out with rather then a ‘change in society.’ As Tabitha points out people have been having casual sexual relations for as long as there has been humans, that part of humanity hasn’t changed. At the same time there is still a part of society for whatever reason that does continue to follow what Dave labeled ‘nice’ guys and girls, they aren’t necessarily disappearing, simply they are hanging out in different circles. I say none of this to put down anyone’s sexual preferences merely to ask the reader to look at their own lives and see if what they have noticed ‘changed’ is really ’society’ or themselves?

]]> By: Tabitha http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-12 Tabitha Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:23:35 +0000 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-12 People have been sleeping around and getting divorced and sexing it up forever. It's nothing new to look at the world and think, "Gee, I wonder where we're going, I wonder what's happening to family values." We're just a lot more open about it now. On one hand, I think that it's probably better this way... At least everyone's being honest about what they're doing now, and most people who are only looking for sex feel like they're more able to say that they're only looking for sex now. Before... well, I think before the situation was more open and before women felt like they had the right to ask for just sex there was a lot more manipulation and secretive behaviour going on. On the other hand, I agree that people don't seem to be looking for real emotional connections as much as they might have been before, but I can't say for sure what people were doing "back in the day" because no one talked about it. Wives, for example, were expected to be sedate, devoted, good housekeepers, etc and weren't supposed to be talking about sexual fulfillment or whether or not they were actually in love with their husbands, even as recently as the fifties. The amount of drug and alcohol use by the average housewife in the fifties was incredible, just to get through the day without feeling so wretched that they wanted to commit suicide. But no one talked about it, just like no one talked about how often the husband went out and boinked some blond because he wanted to feel alive. So, I submit this as a theory. Men and women simply weren't meant to be monogamous. It's not in our DNA, and it certainly isn't evolutionarily adventagious. We cheat, we fuck, we divorce, all because monogamy doesn't work for everyone and only a very few people are willing to admit it. Combine this with the fact that people are given, through mass media and popular culture, the idea that love is some grandiose thing that happens only to the worthy and only once in a great while means that people go around looking for things that they can never have and then wonder why they're not happy. So stop worrying about the "good girl" and worry about who you can connect to, because all we've got in this world is a string of connections. People have been sleeping around and getting divorced and sexing it up forever. It’s nothing new to look at the world and think, “Gee, I wonder where we’re going, I wonder what’s happening to family values.” We’re just a lot more open about it now.

On one hand, I think that it’s probably better this way… At least everyone’s being honest about what they’re doing now, and most people who are only looking for sex feel like they’re more able to say that they’re only looking for sex now. Before… well, I think before the situation was more open and before women felt like they had the right to ask for just sex there was a lot more manipulation and secretive behaviour going on.

On the other hand, I agree that people don’t seem to be looking for real emotional connections as much as they might have been before, but I can’t say for sure what people were doing “back in the day” because no one talked about it. Wives, for example, were expected to be sedate, devoted, good housekeepers, etc and weren’t supposed to be talking about sexual fulfillment or whether or not they were actually in love with their husbands, even as recently as the fifties. The amount of drug and alcohol use by the average housewife in the fifties was incredible, just to get through the day without feeling so wretched that they wanted to commit suicide. But no one talked about it, just like no one talked about how often the husband went out and boinked some blond because he wanted to feel alive.

So, I submit this as a theory.
Men and women simply weren’t meant to be monogamous. It’s not in our DNA, and it certainly isn’t evolutionarily adventagious. We cheat, we fuck, we divorce, all because monogamy doesn’t work for everyone and only a very few people are willing to admit it. Combine this with the fact that people are given, through mass media and popular culture, the idea that love is some grandiose thing that happens only to the worthy and only once in a great while means that people go around looking for things that they can never have and then wonder why they’re not happy.

So stop worrying about the “good girl” and worry about who you can connect to, because all we’ve got in this world is a string of connections.

]]> By: syp http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-11 syp Sun, 23 Dec 2007 18:09:25 +0000 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-11 peer pressure has always seem to the be the first way girls open up and become promiscuous. either by what their friends are doing or what the media is telling them. i mean, come on...Jamie Lynn Spears is preggers! nice girls haven't died off, they just aren't publicized as much as the slutty ones. i mean, that's partially why they are the nice girls. you gotta kinda hunt for these diamonds in the rough! so feel lucky that you know...a couple. hehe. =) peer pressure has always seem to the be the first way girls open up and become promiscuous. either by what their friends are doing or what the media is telling them. i mean, come on…Jamie Lynn Spears is preggers!

nice girls haven’t died off, they just aren’t publicized as much as the slutty ones. i mean, that’s partially why they are the nice girls. you gotta kinda hunt for these diamonds in the rough! so feel lucky that you know…a couple. hehe. =)

]]> By: Jaded Assclown http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-10 Jaded Assclown Sun, 23 Dec 2007 09:31:57 +0000 http://www.devmorgan.com/blog/2007/12/23/death-of-the-nice-girl/#comment-10 Its due to a lot of things, Lack of self confidence, lack of parents being around or raising them properly, lack of giving a shit, lack of a PERSONALITY, lack of intellectual strength to know what's right and what's wrong for themselves and the consequences of their actions towards others. Even the environment itself. Its goes for both sides though. The pendulem is swinging full force in one direction, eventually it'll even out. Today's society shows more virgins than ever before. And more std's than ever before. I remember growing up and the #'s were 1 out of 10 to now 2/3 (HPV is the biggest one and they didnt develope a vaccine for men... why? now we have a HUGE rate of mouth cancer due to hpv because its now a requirement for men to go down on women...). Not everyone is having sex though, but more and more people thing it happens, its due to being pressured by media and business (its a huge industry) and since its in your face all the time its suppose to be the norm. At least in america we make it a huge deal. Its ok to blow someone up but its not ok to show some boobage. I'm rambling about multiple things , but it all affects us. Its due to a lot of things, Lack of self confidence, lack of parents being around or raising them properly, lack of giving a shit, lack of a PERSONALITY, lack of intellectual strength to know what’s right and what’s wrong for themselves and the consequences of their actions towards others. Even the environment itself.

Its goes for both sides though. The pendulem is swinging full force in one direction, eventually it’ll even out. Today’s society shows more virgins than ever before. And more std’s than ever before. I remember growing up and the #’s were 1 out of 10 to now 2/3 (HPV is the biggest one and they didnt develope a vaccine for men… why? now we have a HUGE rate of mouth cancer due to hpv because its now a requirement for men to go down on women…). Not everyone is having sex though, but more and more people thing it happens, its due to being pressured by media and business (its a huge industry) and since its in your face all the time its suppose to be the norm. At least in america we make it a huge deal. Its ok to blow someone up but its not ok to show some boobage.

I’m rambling about multiple things , but it all affects us.

]]>